Perinatal Hospice: A Fruitful Story

By Tammy Ruiz

It is becoming more common in our society for hospitals to offer some sort of organized support for women and families through the experience of Perinatal Death (pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death and SIDS). Less common are programs where a pre-existing system of support exists for those who receive the diagnosis of an unavoidably life limiting condition for their baby (and opt to maintain the pregnancy). In the literature, it is called “Perinatal Hospice.” When I started our program 6 years ago, it was one of only 40 in the world and now there are over 150 (go to PerinatalHospice.org for info). I work with moms/parents/families to help them navigate the tricky steps of the pregnancy, birth and resolution/healing time.

They have taught me so very much.

I have come to see that there is an almost predictable pattern in how they perceive their experience and I walk a tight-rope of respecting how they feel right at this minute with the sage wisdom that their perceptions of their whole experience will evolve greatly over time. It reinforces my own life experiences that we often change what and how we think of our trials as we continue living and growing.

Below is an essay written Julie who I came to know in the course of preparing for the birth of her child. Her story became a story that we shared and I think there is much to learn in it.

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 Tammy Ruiz has been a Nurse for 28 years and spent most of her career in Neonatal Intensive Care. For 8 years, she has been a Perinatal Bereavement Coordinator - caring for women and families suffering miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death and SIDS. Part of her work involves assisting parents in preparing for births when the baby has received the diagnosis of a life limiting condition (often called "Perinatal Hospice").