Saying ‘Not Now’ to the Supreme Gift: The ‘Gravity’ of NFP

 By Deacon Jim Russell

Transmitting human life is serious business.

Not only that, transmitting human life is a *most* serious business. Pope Paul VI says in the opening line of his prophetic encyclical Humanae Vitae, “The transmission of human life is a most serious role (munus gravissimum) in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly with God the Creator.”
He says it’s not just “serious”—it’s the superlative of serious. That’s how important transmitting human life is.

Still, some Catholics appear uncomfortable with using the word “grave” to describe the reasons a married couple might use Natural Family Planning (NFP) to say “not now” to this “most serious” munus of transmitting life. But I can’t quite see how transmitting life could be a munus gravissimum while the decision to postpone transmitting life could be anything less than the “superlative of serious.”

“Is it a good thing to be a person?” Pope Benedict XVI once asked in relation to having children. This is among the “grave” questions married couples must ask when choosing “yes” or “not now” via NFP. The answer is yes—and deciding whether to cooperate with God in bringing a person into existence is a decision of great gravity, precisely because it is always a good thing to be a person. Gaudium et Spes calls children “the supreme gift of marriage” and says that “by their very nature, the institution of matrimony itself and conjugal love are ordained for the procreation and education of children, and find in them their ultimate crown.” Married couples are amazingly blessed to be called by God to “pro-creation.”


We Can’t Judge Anyone Else’s Discernment

But before going further, we need to clearly express another doctrine of the Church: You and I do not get to decide whether another married couple’s exercise of parenthood or use of NFP is “responsible” or not. It’s not my business. This judgment remains too “superlatively serious” to belong to anyone but the married couple and God. No good comes from judging the “gravity” of another couple’s NFP decisions. And this works both ways, just like NFP does—does this couple have too many children? Does that couple have too few? Not my business.

“The parents themselves should ultimately make this judgment, in the sight of God,” as it says in Gaudium et Spes, #50. (Let that sink in.) “Thus, trusting in divine Providence and refining the spirit of sacrifice, married Christians glorify the Creator and strive toward fulfillment in Christ when, with a generous human and Christian sense of responsibility, they acquit themselves of the duty to procreate.” This responsibility belongs to each couple, not me or you.

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 Deacon Jim Russell is a lifelong St. Louis resident, "cradle" Catholic, husband, father of eleven, and grandfather of two. Ordained to the Diaconate in 2002, Deacon Russell serves as Director of Liturgy for Immaculate Conception Parish in Dardenne Prairie, Missouri, the second-largest parish in the Archdiocese of St. Louis. He remains an active supporter of Catholic radio and the Catholic blogosphere and has just begun blogging here at Catholic Stand. Deacon Russell’s theological interests include the sanctity of marriage and the work of Blessed Pope John Paul II.