Children Aren’t Trophies

By Cari Donaldson
Catholic Exchange

Last week, I was fortunate enough to attend an amazing Catholic women’s conference in Austin. Not only was the event itself a balm for this frazzled mother’s nerves, but during it, the Holy Spirit offered me an amazing insight into the invisible cross that people struggling with fertility issues are asked to carry.

I wrote about it on my blog, and when I was done, I sort of closed my eyes and said a prayer as I hit “publish”, because how presumptuous is it for a mother of six to talk about the experience of couples struggling with infertility or subfertility? Answer: very.

However, the outpouring that followed that post was something I never expected, and have never seen before. Women who previously felt invisible within practicing Catholic circles graciously shared with me their pain living a counter-cultural life, namely one that is radically open to life, but not having the large family that is the visible shorthand for that resistance.

Women shared their anguish at having the secular culture heap praise upon them for being “responsible” about their family size, while at the same time other faithful Catholics either made thoughtless comments or, even worse, seemed to question the couple’s willingness to walk the “open to life” walk. Story after generous story came in, and suddenly, through the pain that practically radiated off my screen, I heard a single word, whispered in my heart.

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For those couples experiencing infertility, use this link to find help and support