Dealing With Miscarriage and Stillbirth

by Eric Metaxas
BreakPoint 

"How old would she be?" If you want to bless a mother this week, learn what this question is all about.

Ten years ago, Julie and Brian Neils eagerly awaited the arrival of their twins, Lauren and Leyton. At 28 weeks, Julie was in the hospital with pre-term labor, but the doctors stopped it and were planning to send her home for bed rest. During the short time the baby monitor was off, Leyton twisted on his umbilical cord and died.

Over the next four weeks, Julie bore a profound grief over her son, even as she worked to bring Lauren closer to term. On the day of their birth, Lauren was alive, but struggling. Julie held Leyton tight in a blue blanket, rocking on a creaking chair and weeping over her lost son.

Like many women, Julie always faces a decision when hearing the question, "How many children do you have?"

While she never tires of remembering her beloved son, she has grown weary of the responses she gets when people encounter her grief over Leyton.

"At least you have other children," they say. Or, "Didn't that happen a long time ago?"

No matter how well-meaning they might be, the response seemed to diminish the value of her son, and it breaks her heart all over again every time it happens.


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