I’d like to be a…

By Arvil Jones

Now what would you like to be Johnny, the kindly teacher asked,

When you grow up and finally become a man?

I’m sure that all of you dear children whom I’ve taught all these years,

Have thought it over and have developed a plan;

The teacher waited patiently for the children to think a bit,

And as they pondered she began to search their eyes;

She was certain some would love to be teachers, like she had been so long,

But she wasn’t quite ready for this kind of surprise;

The children were quite hesitant, none responded quickly, 

As the teacher waited for one to raise their hand;

Then quietly a young lady answered, barely in a whisper,

And so the teacher asked the girl to stand;

The little girl’s voice quivered a bit, her eyes stared at the floor,

Her body trembled as she began to speak;

The teacher drew a little closer, taking the little girl’s hand,

She could tell the child was horrified and weak;

Now don’t be afraid Mary Ann, the teacher softly spoke,

There’s no reason to be ashamed or afraid;

But when little Mary raised her eyes and stood up straight and tall,

The teacher gasped at the first remark she made;

I want to be an abortionist, Mary cried aloud,

Loud enough she was sure that all had heard;

The teacher almost fainted, her face grew ghastly pale,

She was so numb she couldn’t say a word;

Mary Ann continued to speak, I want to be an abortionist,

‘Cause I’ve heard there’s a lot of money to be made;

I’m told I can become quite wealthy, selling body parts,

And organs I remove with my surgical blade;

The teacher regained her composure then, and quickly sat Mary down,

Young lady, I don’t want to hear anything more;

But then she got another surprise, another ghastly shock,

When little Johnny quickly took the floor;

I want to be a homosexual, Johnny said with a grin,

And I want to marry another boy like me;

‘Cause Mom and Dad say it’s OK, and so does the Constitution,

And we all live in a country that is free;

Well I want to be a lesbian, little Clara spoke up,

And I want to marry a beautiful woman someday;

So we can adopt some children, and raise them just like us,

And now the teacher didn’t know what to say;

Well, I want to be a shemale, little Broderick chimed in,

I want to be part male and part female;

I’ve heard it’s become quite popular, and well accepted too,

And again the teacher’s face had gone quite pale;

She sat down at her old oak desk, placing her head in her hands,

And wept and sobbed till she had no more tears;

Is this what it all has come to, she quietly asked herself,

Is this my legacy for all those hopeful years;

She raised her head, stood up quietly, and brought the class to order,

Knowing this would be her final day;

She took her purse, her scarf and gloves, and what dignity she had left,

Dismissed the pupils, and quickly drove away.