Thin Mints Are Dead To Me

Let me count the ways

It has to be the most famous, widespread and successful fundraiser in the land, and in my neck of the woods, it’s Girl Scout Cookie Time.

I won’t be buying any.

The Girl Scouts as a nation-wide organization have cooked their goose with quite a number of us former Brownies and Juniors. Not only have the Girl Scouts gotten too chummy with Planned Parenthood, but it seems that they made some pretty bad business decisions over the years and in a lot of councils (admittedly, the one in my location is not among them), assets are being liquidated to finance…pensions?

The Girl Scouts, for whom cookies and camping have long been synonymous, have decided one of them has to go, and it isn’t going to be the addictive cash-cow Thin Mint.  In the past five years or so, Girl Scout councils across the country, backed by the parent organization Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA), have put up for sale more than 200 camps in 30 states—more than a third of Girl Scouts properties with acreage are threatened. The regional councils defend the sales by citing the rising costs of maintenance. And, they say, today’s girls aren’t as interested in camping.  From Daily Beast

Granted, I hated Girl Scout camp (more because I didn’t like the atmosphere than camping.  I mean, it’s not like we had to put up the tents.  Well…the food WAS pretty bad), but what part of Girl SCOUTS isn’t penetrating?  Not having camps makes a mockery of the name.

Although camping remains a part of the Girl Scouts experience, in recent years it has been sidelined by controversial new programming that places less emphasis on outdoor learning. And camping hasn’t been promoted by cash-strapped councils that have proceeded with sale plans despite fervent protests from their memberships. That the 101-year-old organization reportedly has a woefully underfunded pension plan—currently down by $347 million—at the same time regional councils are trying to unload valuable land assets—has put the organization in the hotseat. While many pension funds took serious hits during the 2008 recession, critics, including one Tennessee council, contend that GSUSA made poor decisions, such as a massive realigning of councils and excessive buyouts, that exacerbated their loss.

In 2007, GSUSA began consolidating 312 regional councils into 112 “high-capacity” councils, some of them ranging over dozens of counties and several states in an attempt to take advantage of “economies of scale.” They have also revamped their programming to make it more relevant for “girls today,” whom they now refer to as their “customers.” But some of the customers aren’t buying, claiming instead that too much of the $750 million raised annually from cookie sales is going toward defraying bloated administration costs.

So, because the big girls can’t manage money, the little girls get to suffer?????

Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Now that Eagle Island camp is closed, for instance, “it’s the very girls that need it the most that are denied it,” says Chris Hildebrand of Friends of Eagle Island, an alumnae group that has spent several years appealing the camp’s closing and is now suing the Girl Scouts Heart of NJ (GSHONJ), which inherited the camp when districts were merged in 2007. “Inner-city girls and suburban girls are not exposed to the out of doors and to the wilderness,” Hildebrand says. “They’re not going to understand the importance of protecting it. And these are our future leaders.”

Well, you gotta choose which liberal cause to espouse with $750 million.  And since the new Girl Scouts spokeswoman is Kelly Parisi, former spokeswoman for MS. Magazine, that cause ain’t going to be the environment:

On December 18, 2013, Girl Scouts USA tweeted: “Incredible Ladies Who Should Be Women of the Year for 2013” and asking if anyone should be added to the list. The link goes to a column by the liberal Huffington Post, which promotes Davis and pro-abortion activist Gloria Steinem as potential women of the year.  

Great.  Just great.  Juliette Low has to be rolling in her grave. This is not what she had in mind when she founded the Girl Scouts.

Somewhere in the box of what is left from childhood, is a green sash with the patches earned – yes, earned – through tasks completed, skills mastered, bike trips taken, crafts made and more.  The first was a swimming badge, that frankly was not that difficult to get (I had more than one).  We carried our “Badge Books” collecting signatures from troop leaders and camp counselors so that we could earn more badges than our “friends”.

Those achievements and learning those skills was part of the experience.  So was camping: even at the “camps” in this neck of the woods which have lodges with indoor plumbing and kitchens as camp units.  One camp even has two dining halls (well, at least it used to).  Frankly, at a certain point, it was downright comfortable.  (That the girls, troop leaders and camp counselors were all, uh, witchy, was another story.)

This is why the name of the organization is “Girl Scouts.”  Take away the camping and it’s just “girls.”  Yeah…not going there.

My friends with daughters who are still in the local troops have let us all know that it’s Girl Scout Cookie Time.  Hate to tell them this and disappoint their daughters, but Thin Mints are dead to me…Tagalongs will be missed, but Thin Mints are DEAD.

Besides, Girl Scout Cookies haven’t been really tasty since the GSUSA abandoned the Burry Bakery a few decades ago.  Cost saving move.

For more on the link to Planned Parenthood: What Every Pro-Lifer Needs To Know About the Girl Scouts Link to Planned Parenthood