National Right to Life
When I was told by the local crisis pregnancy center that I was pregnant, I was given a “goodie bag” with a variety of handouts and information packets explaining my pregnancy, prenatal care, local OBGYN offices, and what to do next.
I took the packets home with me and read through them with my best friend that night, really just searching for any glimpse of hope or encouragement I could find. Among those packets was a small booklet and on the front was a picture of a girl with a worried look on her face.
The first page read, “When your daughter tells you she’s pregnant, try not to overreact.”
I don’t know if it’s because I was tired of crying, or still in shock, but I laughed. We both laughed. We threw around ideas of how to get the packet to my parents anonymously, knowing that there was no way on God’s green earth that any parent would take this news lightly and not overreact even a little bit.
Nearly six years later, I have a much better understanding of how important that reaction really was. With thousands of abortions occurring daily, I’d be willing to bet a good majority of them are out of the fear of telling a parent or loved one.
The fear of that awful look of disappointment and despair. The fear of the angry words that may escape without forethought. The fear of the criticism, judgement, and shame. The fear of the guilt- oh that horrible guilt for disobeying your parents’ best wishes for your purity. The fear of the irreparable damage this may do to your previous relationship with them. All of those fears become so immense, so quickly. It’s indescribable really.
For the most part, I’ve written blogs about my own experience as a way of trying to encourage other young ladies facing those fears. But now as a mother myself, and with a better (albeit, not perfect) understanding of it all, I realized I’ve really never done much in the way of encouraging the unsuspecting parents. The day they discover their daughter is pregnant is similarly terrifying for them as it is for her, and although I don’t know it personally, I experienced it face to face.
So I think, in hindsight, if I could have re-written that little packet I would have wanted it to say something more along these lines:
(Disclaimer: This is not solely based off of my own parents’ reaction, but also others’ experiences that have been shared with me.)
When she tells you she’s pregnant, she will be terrified beyond comprehension. And so will you.
Her younger years and the dreams for her future will flash before your eyes. You will be disbelieving, angry and most of all utterly shocked because this can’t be real, can it? Believe me when I say she has felt that already. Chances are she has already been through this phase, and will have been dreading watching you go through it, too. She knows full well how “big” this is, and has probably already cried over the many, many ways this will affect her future–and yours.
She is so scared, and that is why she is coming to you.
You chased the monsters from her closet, put bandaids on all her boo-boos, held her hand to help her overcome her fears, wiped her tears through many heart aches, and now she is here again for something so much bigger. And yet her needs are the same. She needs you to hug her, remind her of your unconditional love, and show her that this too will eventually be okay. Even if you are unsure of that yourself.
She will have thought through every word she says to you, and she may have even rehearsed it to friends or other family members. She will be so nervous that she may stumble over what words to say to you. Do not misinterpret this for lack of caring or not understanding the depth of the situation. To her, words just may not be enough to encompass it all.
Voices for Life is an e-publication dedicated to informing and educating the public on pro-life and pro-family issues. To read our Mission Statement, use this link. Follow us on Facebook, Google, and Pinterest. Help us spread the pro-life message by sharing our articles on your favorite social networks.
Pregnant, need help or know
someone who does?
National Hotline: Call 1-800-712-HELP or Text 'HELPLINE' to 313131.
In Southeast Penna: Call the Community Women's Center at 215-826-8090
If you or someone you know is suffering after abortion, confidential non-judgmental help is available. Call Project Rachel's national toll-free number 888-456-HOPE (4673) or visit hopeafterabortion.org.
I took the packets home with me and read through them with my best friend that night, really just searching for any glimpse of hope or encouragement I could find. Among those packets was a small booklet and on the front was a picture of a girl with a worried look on her face.
The first page read, “When your daughter tells you she’s pregnant, try not to overreact.”
I don’t know if it’s because I was tired of crying, or still in shock, but I laughed. We both laughed. We threw around ideas of how to get the packet to my parents anonymously, knowing that there was no way on God’s green earth that any parent would take this news lightly and not overreact even a little bit.
Nearly six years later, I have a much better understanding of how important that reaction really was. With thousands of abortions occurring daily, I’d be willing to bet a good majority of them are out of the fear of telling a parent or loved one.
The fear of that awful look of disappointment and despair. The fear of the angry words that may escape without forethought. The fear of the criticism, judgement, and shame. The fear of the guilt- oh that horrible guilt for disobeying your parents’ best wishes for your purity. The fear of the irreparable damage this may do to your previous relationship with them. All of those fears become so immense, so quickly. It’s indescribable really.
For the most part, I’ve written blogs about my own experience as a way of trying to encourage other young ladies facing those fears. But now as a mother myself, and with a better (albeit, not perfect) understanding of it all, I realized I’ve really never done much in the way of encouraging the unsuspecting parents. The day they discover their daughter is pregnant is similarly terrifying for them as it is for her, and although I don’t know it personally, I experienced it face to face.
So I think, in hindsight, if I could have re-written that little packet I would have wanted it to say something more along these lines:
(Disclaimer: This is not solely based off of my own parents’ reaction, but also others’ experiences that have been shared with me.)
When she tells you she’s pregnant, she will be terrified beyond comprehension. And so will you.
Her younger years and the dreams for her future will flash before your eyes. You will be disbelieving, angry and most of all utterly shocked because this can’t be real, can it? Believe me when I say she has felt that already. Chances are she has already been through this phase, and will have been dreading watching you go through it, too. She knows full well how “big” this is, and has probably already cried over the many, many ways this will affect her future–and yours.
She is so scared, and that is why she is coming to you.
She will have thought through every word she says to you, and she may have even rehearsed it to friends or other family members. She will be so nervous that she may stumble over what words to say to you. Do not misinterpret this for lack of caring or not understanding the depth of the situation. To her, words just may not be enough to encompass it all.
Voices for Life is an e-publication dedicated to informing and educating the public on pro-life and pro-family issues. To read our Mission Statement, use this link. Follow us on Facebook, Google, and Pinterest. Help us spread the pro-life message by sharing our articles on your favorite social networks.Pregnant, need help or know
someone who does?
National Hotline: Call 1-800-712-HELP or Text 'HELPLINE' to 313131.
In Southeast Penna: Call the Community Women's Center at 215-826-8090
If you or someone you know is suffering after abortion, confidential non-judgmental help is available. Call Project Rachel's national toll-free number 888-456-HOPE (4673) or visit hopeafterabortion.org.
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