There is a Moment When the Need for Help Becomes Clear
National Right to Life
In April of 2011, I began working with the post-abortion ministry Rachel’s Vineyard. Over the years, I have had the privilege of hearing the stories of many women and men who have an abortion in their past.
Each and every story that I’ve heard is unique, complex, and riveting in its own way, and through these stories, I have come to a deeper understanding of the mental, social, and relational impact that abortion can have in a person’s life.
One of the things that always strikes me when I reflect on the stories I’ve heard is the variation in the amount of the time that passes before individuals decide they want to share their abortion stories and explore how the abortion has negatively impacted their lives.
Sometimes it takes women (and men) five or 10 years before they are willing to explore the topic. Sometimes it is several decades before they are ready to address it. Many times, it is even longer than that. We once had an 85-year-old woman attend a retreat. Forty-five years after the fact, she had finally decided she was ready to take steps to put the abortion in her past.
It is a fascinating, and simultaneously tragic, thing to see how long the pain of abortion can stay hidden in a person’s life.
Perhaps equally as interesting is exploring how each of these individuals came to understand that abortion had a negative impact on their lives. Many times, these individuals acknowledge that they have spent many years trying to rationalize their abortions.
Some have admitted that they became staunchly pro-choice in an effort to justify the abortion in their pasts. Some have simply suppressed the negative feelings, afraid that if they were to verbalize any negativity, they would be forced to address the problems that arise as a result. Still others have never told anyone of the abortion in the first place and believe they have nowhere to turn to share their thoughts or feelings.
There are myriad reasons why a person might wait many years before addressing the negative consequences that arose as the result of choosing abortion.
But for each of these individuals who eventually come to verbalize remorse or negative thoughts regarding their abortion, there is a moment in which the realization of the negative impact of their abortions is made.
There is a moment when the need for help becomes clear. This moment can often catch these individuals by surprise, especially if the negative thoughts and feelings have been suppressed or ignored over the course of time.
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