How I Never Met Your Mother: Single Sex Parenting and Children

by Cynthia Millen
Catholic Stand

I was curious about the logistics. How did Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka have kids?

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, they explained. “It involved two embryos, one for each of them—and a surrogate who Burtka said was ‘more like the oven.’ The couple knew the surrogate, but the egg donor—who they found through a donation bank and thus were able to research her personal and medical history—was anonymous.” (Daily Mail, June 1, 2012)

In another interview with Barbara Walters, Harris further elaborated. “We inserted one of my sperm and one of David’s sperm into two eggs with the hope that would both take, just because we both wanted to be dads biologically. Both took, miraculously.” The twins, a boy and a girl, call Neil “dad” and David “poppa” because “the couple decided it would be too confusing for (the children) to have two dads, and neither wanted to be called Mom.” (Celebrity News, May 8, 2015)

When I read through several articles about this, the comments overwhelmingly were positive about the love the couple has for their children and how beautiful their family is. The few comments which noted the ‘elephant in the room’, however, were met with derision and anger. “Long as kids are getting all the love and care they need, who cares what sex the parents are.” “That should show all the haters out there that even a gay couple can give children a fantastic home.” “Love makes a family.” “OK—waiting for the homophobic, ‘children need a mother’ brigade to chime in—Every child does NOT need a mother.”

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After marrying her husband, Jim Roberts, in 1980, Cynthia Millen graduated from law school and practiced in Ohio for a short while. Excited about having a large family, Jim and Cindy were blessed more quickly than expected with the birth of five children in four years (two set of twins). Her love for reading and writing grew into the publication of several children's books (under the name C. M. Millen), poems and short stories (including a 2014 Tuscany prize winner). Millen earned her Masters in Literature from Trinity College, Dublin, and relishes the teaching (and learning) of reading, writing, and grammar with middle school students at Christ the King School in Toledo, Ohio. Most of all, she treasures attending Mass there with wonderful parishioners and truly marvelous priests.